


The Start of it All (Brooklyn Days)

by fingersnapstothat, ringfrost



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940’s era, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, M/M, No Smut, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Romance, Steve POV, US History, bucky pov, post depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-30 07:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15091580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fingersnapstothat/pseuds/fingersnapstothat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ringfrost/pseuds/ringfrost
Summary: A look into the relationship between Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers before the Super Soldier Serum, and the start of their intimate relationship before the war and what pushed them to join the war effort.





	1. What He Experiences

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fully completed fic that I’ve done for a Big Bang! I’m very proud of this.  
> Shoutout to my irl friend G for reading this at 12 am because I needed a Beta.  
> Also huge thank you to whattheshitrogers, my artist, for giving me the freedom to write this, Ive been wanting to write a story like this for a bit and you’re art was perfect for this.  
> Art will be in the second chapter as a link!

_Spring, New York, 1939_

Another day in the cold, March never let up until the very day it was officially Spring. Some weeds in the cement cracked above the lingering snow, other than that no flower dared to make an appearance in this weather.

It was a beautiful morning nonetheless, cozy and lazy, Bucky Barnes stretches and yawns as he hops out of his bed. The wood flooring is cold to his warm feet, but it wakes him up more. The expensive apartment he had just gotten was well worth the money with the view of the city, the price was making him work double time at the shipping docs. Less money to spend had him in at nights, the dance halls boring without his presence. 

Today luckily Bucky has the day off, and he plans to spend it helping his best friend, Steve Rogers, with cleaning his Mum’s house. The thought saddens him, it’s been a few months since she’s passed on and Steve has to pawn some of her stuff in order to pay for his medicine and the rent of his own apartment. Bucky shakes his head, trying to think of how else he can help his poor pal. He walks back to his closet and grabs his clothes and throws them on haphazardly, yet he still has the perfect messy but suave look all the ladies fawn over. He heads over towards the small bathroom next to his closet and opens the medicine cabinet and pulls out his half empty bottle of Brilliantine, toothpaste and toothbrush, brushing his teeth quickly, he moves on to styling his hair with the oil precisely, a style he’s so used to since his Ma did it for him when he was a child.

Bucky takes a look of himself and nods in the mirror of his reflection, perfect and not too shabby. He slips on his shoes and practically skips out the door of his apartment. He won’t say it to anyone but seeing Steve is one of his favorite things to do. Steve is his best friend, someone he can’t see living without. Life was easy with Steve when they were with each other. Bucky hasn’t been able to find a friend like Steve, probably because they knew each other since they were just little toddlers running around the streets of Brooklyn, or maybe because Bucky never really searched for other friends to be as close to him like Steve was.

Already out of his apartment building and onto the streets, Bucky hustled his way over to Steve’s, he ignores the offers for morning pastries from the neighborhood baker, Ms. Bonetti, though he probably get some food, he wants to save to by a good lunch or dinner. Steve’s place is about two blocks away, which is nice they aren’t that far, while Bucky’s Ma is about eight blocks. The walk is fast and he’s there in no time. He walks into the apartment building and makes the three story climb to the apartment, only to see Steve being chewed out by his landlord.

 

“What did I tell yah kid? Rent or you’re out!”

Bucky slows his steps as Steve stutters out an answer, “S-Sir, I’m sorry, i-it’s just been difficult with my medicine payments and-“

“I don’t care! I need my payment within the next twenty-four hours or you’re  _ out.”  _ The old gangly man spits out and makes a sharp turn towards Bucky and saunters off in a huff. Steve looks down, his face unreadable.

Bucky’s heart breaks a little, he hates to see Steve have that face, the depressing puppy dog face, he makes his way over to Steve and places a hand on his left shoulder, “Hey pal, good morning.”

Steve quickly spins around in surprise, “Bucky! Oh, good morning, you didn’t see all that did you?”

“Yeah, but it’s no big deal, after today you’ll be able to pay. Let’s get to work.”

Steve gave Bucky a warm smile, as best as he could, “Yea, you’re right,” He opens the door to his apartment and let’s Bucky in.

Bucky quickly notices things in piles, little notes in front of them.  _ Keep, Valuables/Sell, Giveaway.  _ Steve shuffles to his friends side and looks up to him, “I got up early to figure this stuff out before you got here.”

Bucky gives Steve a sad smile, “Pal, is it too hard to wait?”

Laughing, Steve grabs a box and starts gently putting the Sell items in it, “I waited long enough so can help be put this stuff in boxes.”

“Steve, I can help with the rent, it’s not that bi-“

Whipping his head around, Steve turns around, his bottom lip pointed up and out in annoyance, his thick brows furrowed. Bucky wants to laugh, it’s the same face that Steve had when they met when they were kids. “I’m not going to mooch off of you! Look, it’s been four months since my Mum passed, it’s ok. My grieving period has passed. I need to catch up with the world.”

Shaking his head, Bucky puts his hands on Steve’s shoulders, “You remember what I told you at your Ma’s service?”

Steve looks down at his shoes, “How could I not.”

“Say it.”

“What?” 

“Say it to me, Steve. Tell me what I said to you that day.” Bucky smiles.

Steve’s eyes are bright and wild, he sucks in a breath and chuckles, “I’m with you, till the end of the line.”

Bucky grins and brings Steve in for a tight hug, his face in Bucky’s neck. “Thank you, now pack these things up and I’ll move you over to my place.” Before Steve can say another word, Bucky moves around him and starts carefully putting Sarah’s belongings back in boxes. Subconsciously Bucky kind of knows he overstepped his boundaries, but Steve just doesn’t listen, he thinks he has his life under control and that he  _ has  _ to have it under control. He can be stiff and relentless in that aspect. It takes a lot of persuasion to loosen up, lucky today for Bucky all it took was their promise.

Steve joins in helping Bucky put his mother’s stuff away in boxes, all it takes is three. Soon they move to Steve’s room and pack his art supplies and clothing. Before noon Steve is completely packed up. He leaves the key to his past on the doorstop. The duo combine some of their spare change to hail a cab and place the minimal six boxes in the trunk. Bucky talks excitedly to Steve about moving into the new apartment building, and Steve smiles fondly, always happy to hear his best friend talk.   
  


Soon, the duo are making their way to Bucky’s apartment. Bucky thinks now, his apartment is a two bedroom, the other room to be his office. Maybe subconsciously he knew that Steve would one day move in. He chuckles to himself softly.

The hallway is deathly quiet, Bucky’s neighbors are all at work, except their children. The boys footsteps echo, and so does Steve’s wheezes.

 

Bucky notices this, he looks back to see Steve struggling with one of his boxes, “You want me to take one, pal?”

Steve looks up, “Nah, I got this, thanks though, Bucks.” 

 

Frowning, Bucky nodded, he wanted to help more but he knew how stubborn his best friend was. But he never wanted to push. He knows he pushed a little more than he had intended to when he asked Steve to move in with him, but he knows his boundaries and when to stop. 

The two soon get to Bucky’s apartment. Bucky struggles with his keys while juggling the boxes but he soon lets Steve in. Steve awes at the larger space Bucky has, it’s just a small two bedroom near the docks, but it’s much bigger than the small one bedroom he had been living with his Mum. There’s also a small kitchen, a small stove, sink and table to prep things. 

“Wow, where you get the money to afford this palace, Bucks?” Steve chuckles as he moves more into the room.

“Ah, please this ain’t like those mansions down near the park, it’s pretty cheap considering this is a new building.” Bucky replies 

“Still smells like fresh paint.” Steve says. He puts down his boxes. He digs through his boxes and pulls out a medium sized sketch pad and pencils.

“You mind if I sketch out something here? I just got a few ideas with this open space.”

Bucky smiles, he loves it when Steve sketches, “Not at all, I’m gonna clean out some space for you in the other room so take it easy.”

Too invested in this thoughts Bucky thinks more about Sarah and Steve, Steve adores her and the thought of him giving up his mother’s things just to pay rent made Bucky uncomfortable.  _ I’m so selfish,  _ he thinks. He knows he partly did that because he respects the woman too, but because Sarah provided a place to be with just him and Steve as kids. Growing up Bucky was one of three younger sisters, and his parents were more focused on them. Sarah saw this and let Bucky come over whenever and provided food and a place to sleep. And maybe Bucky has to thank her for more than that when it comes to Steve.

Shaking off his thoughts, Bucky helps Steve move his boxes into the room adjacent from his, the Steve goes to sit on the large windowsill and starts to sketch the room. It’s been awhile for Steve since he’s drawn anything. It makes him happy and relaxed. An hour goes by, Bucky has moved a large table into his room and in the process of moving a medium sized dresser that his Ma gave him, fortunately he hasn’t used it and he can give it to Steve, but the heat in the apartment has gone up in temperature. He pauses and unbuttons his white long-sleeved shirt. Of course he has an undershirt covering him still but the long-sleeve was constricting his movement due to his sweat. He tosses the shirt in the direction of his room but it lands far off.

 

“Um,” Steve starts, getting Bucky’s attention, “Do you need help? I can help if you want.”

Bucky shakes his head, “Nah, but if you could open one of the windows behind you that would be great!”

Steve springs up and nods, he opens the window with ease, “Better?”

“Perfect, thanks bud.” Bucky sighs in relief as a small gust of wind fans his face. He resumes moving the dresser to Steve’s room, while Steve continues to sketch. His pencil making more scratching sounds against the pad.

  
  


_ Late May, 1939 _

It’s been a few months since Steve moved in. Bucky has enjoyed their time together, it feels like the childhood all over again. Steve is much more moody though, gets in fights more often than not and Bucky has to play nurse and parent to his friend. He doesn’t mind it though, Steve is almost back to old self. Only thing is that he doesn’t go out much, when he does the fights start. 

Today is one of those days where Steve longingly looks outside at the world below, the women in their big hats and the men in their suits in the sweltering June heat. His sketch pad open and his hand frequently moving. Bucky loves seeing Steve so focused, but deep down he knows he should push him to go out and see the world. Admittedly, Bucky has spent many nights in his bed thinking about why Steve doesn’t go out, he thinks it because his vibrant personality somewhat passed on with his Mum, but at times it shone through with Bucky. Certain jokes and things he did made Steve smile and laugh, and Bucky wanted to see that  _ all _ the time. 

Bucky sighs, just loudly enough for Steve to look up and catch sight of Bucky in his bedroom doorway, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing, I’m just thirsty for some pop. I’m getting a little cabin fever too. Would you like to head out with me for a bit?”

“Ehh, Buck-“

“Please?” Bucky leans his head against the doorframe and pouts, the angelic and pleading way his Ma could never say no to, “I need my best pal with me today.”

Steve rolls his eyes, Bucky shocked, and laughs. “Go find one of your dames, I’m drawing today.”

Bucky huffs, “Why you gotta be like that, Stevie? If I wanted a dame yes I could go out and get one, but I want by best pal with me today! The sun is shining, the birds are chirpin’, why not seize the day? Get some sun in your bones?”

 

Steve just stares at Bucky throughout his speech. Bucky stares back with a hopeful expression.

This goes on for minutes.

Steve sighs, “Fine, but I’m taking my sketchbook.”

“Yes!” Bucky whoops, he excitedly hurries back to his room to grab his shoes and change that he has while Steve puts on his own shoes at the front door. As soon as Bucky returns the two set out, locking the door first, and descent from their floor and down to the apartment buildings entrance. 

 

The summer heat is sweltering in the streets. Kids play with the others in the neighborhood while their parents work at factories, the neighborhood elderly men are bickering about the last baseball game, market and delis are trying to get all their meats sold before the end of the day. Bucky loves this atmosphere, it’s almost like he loves the chaos of it all. Steve enjoys it too, he particularly loves the community around him. It’s a lot nicer than the neighborhood him and his Mum were staying in.

 

Bucky glances at Steve and beams, he reaches for his hand and tugs him along, “C’mon! Let’s just want down and see what deals the bodegas have today.”

Steve gets flustered when Bucky touches his hand, it’s an odd feeling, for one his hand is kinda sweaty, and two...it feels different. Something not meant to be felt or seen. His thoughts are swirling until Bucky calls his name again and he realized he stop walking.

“Steve?”

“O-Oh! Yes?” 

“I asked if you want Cola or Fanta.”

“Uh, cola is fine,” Steve shakes his head, droplets of sweat coming off with it. Bucky has them stopped at an open window bodega where cola today is only three cents each instead of five today. Popsicles are only a penny as well. Bucky quickly thanks the man working the window and hands Steve a large coke glass. The two set out again, further into the New York streets. Looking for something? Nah, just a place to be other than their apartment. And to spend more time with Steve.

  
  


An hour or two later the two stops by the park, large trees provides extensive shade, but the rest of New York must have been somewhere else as no one except a few people scattered had been lounging under trees. Bucky is lying peacefully under a tree with Steve by his side. The silence was enjoyable, no word needed to be spoken. With his hands under his head and one button popped open of his white button up, Bucky was happy. The sounds of a gentle measly breeze and Steve’s pencil scraping against his sketchbook, Bucky smiles to himself, truly happy.

“Hey Steve?” Bucky starts, his voice low and eyes closed.

“Hm?”

“What are you drawing?” 

“Just some trees, you know, nature.” Steve replies, sounding a bit distracted, the sound of a page flipping making Bucky curious.

Bucky sits up, leaning back on his elbows, “Can I see?”

Steve looks back at Bucky excitedly, “Sure! Um, let me just flip back,” Sitting up straighter, Steve flips back a few pages, avoiding some clearly, and show one page to Bucky. His sketchbook is all over the place, Steve never draws in order of pages, he just randomly opens a page and begins his sketching.

Bucky takes the sketchbook from Steve after he hands it to him, the paper is filled with graphite, the park so clearly detailed, trees drawn like they’re swaying in the wind, and in the corner of it Bucky is laying, hands under his head and his white shirt riding up that his stomach is exposed. It’s a tiny corner of him but Bucky still loves it. He’s never seen Steve draw him before, he can’t help but admit he’s flattered.

“It’s beautiful…” Bucky mutters, he stares at the art a little while longer before he hands it back to Steve.

“Thank you, Buck. I wanna create more art like this. Maybe paint too? Get an easel and come out here and just go to work you know?” Steve leans back, side by side with his friend, eyes strictly looking forward.

Bucky has a small smile on his face, “You should, you can make a whole gallery of this type of art and everyone would eat it up. It’s really amazing, Steve.”

Steve glances at Bucky, match his smile, “You’re too good to me.”

The two stay in the grass like that for awhile, Bucky ignoring his gut feeling in the process.

 

 

_ Late June, 1939 _   
  


Summer in Brooklyn was always  _ terrible. _ Little to no breeze comes through the streets and the streets themselves were like walking through lava. Bucky hates it more than anything. Working down at the docks during summer meant switching out his numbers position to labor to help out the fella get shipments out faster. Sometimes the shipments were imported foods like fruits and veggies, during this time of the year one-third of the imports were rotten by the time they arrived in the bay. Mixing the smell of rotten food and humid air made Bucky wanna gag.

Steve stays in the apartment, but more so recently he’s been going out and drawing, anything he sees he draws. Summer was a much more creative season for him. Bucky thinks it’s because his allergies and illnesses are less dormant than winter, except his asthma, the air was thicker so Steve needs to be more cautious with his activity. 

One morning while Bucky is making breakfast, Steve wakes up, groggily, but he says his good morning to his friend and goes to the bathroom. At first Bucky thinks Steve is just taking care of business then going back to bed, but that changes when Steve comes back out with his hair styled and looking more awake.

 

“Stevie, whatcha doin’ up so early?” Bucky asks as he cuts open an orange to juice.

Steve yawns, raising his hands up above his head and answers, “Well I had an idea to get up early and go to the docks with you to draw.”

Bucky grins excitedly, “You gonna draw me at work?” The thought of that makes his heart leap.

Steve nods, “I’ve always wanted to see your work and see what you do, I think it’s a perfect opportunity to draw and observe.”

_ All I do is lift produce,  _ Bucky thinks, but he bites his tongue and agrees.

After they both eat breakfast and get ready for the day, Bucky and Steve head out to greet the (extremely hot) day. It’s only eight-thirty am but the sidewalk still radiates heat and threatens to melt their shoes. They arrive at the docks, Bucky first makes plans with Steve to meet up with him at corner across from his work Incase Steve leaves and walks around later on. 

Checking in to his shift, Bucky says hello to the women in the office working on tracking imports and what not. He hates to admit it but he’s jealous of them, not having to lift all the crates outside. If Bucky didn’t need the money he would lounge around all day in his flat or in the beach. Sighing, Bucky makes his way outside and rolls his sleeves.

The sun is unforgiving today, threatening to crisp Bucky’s skin. The other men moving crates are complaining endlessly about the sun. To be quite frank it’s annoying after awhile to hear. One thing that keeps Bucky on his toes though is Steve, he can see the little blonde blip sitting far away from the docks and his swinging legs, grinning and ducking his head down, Bucky continues back to work and listening to his co-workers drone about the weather.

  
  
  


Five o’clock strikes the clock, the workers inside the small room safe from the sun start to leave the docks and the men start to finish up whatever they were doing. Bucky is giddy to leave, his muscles ache and curiosity is eating him alive. He wants to know what Steve ended up drawing and what he did the rest of his day. 

Practically skipping, Bucky says bye to his coworkers and leaves, he sees Steve at the entrance and Bucky lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Steve greets him and hands him a bottle of pop.

“For all the hard work today, I never realized what you did until today!” Steve opens his own bottle and takes a swig. 

 

Bucky pays too much attention to Steve’s exposed throat a little too long, he averts his gaze to the ground and opens his own bottle, “Thank you, so, uh, what did you draw today?”

“Let’s walk and I’ll show you.” Steve replies, and the two set off. No rush or place in particular to go, but trying to avoid home, Bucky and Steve walk the streets. Bucky is shown the very detailed sketches Steve has drawn over the day. Three are dedicated to the docks and ocean, a bunch others are of the streets, random people eating, walking, just normal things. Bucky absolutely adores Steve’s art, he has since they were kids and making up their own monsters and heroes, Steve drawing them all. Now all he wants is Steve to get recognized for his talent.   
  


“I can’t say this enough, your art is amazing, Stevie,” Bucky grins at the last drawing Steve drawing shows him before he closes his sketchbook. 

Steve looks down at his shoes and smiles, a tint of red playing at his cheeks, “That means a lot Buck, I wanna try and do something with it this next year. Get a portfolio going maybe?”

Bucky perks up, “Really? That’s amazing! If you need anything you just let me know ok?”

“Okay, hey where are we going? Do you wanna go home?”

They both stop walking and look at the street sign. About four blocks away Bucky concludes, he thinks about it, the idea of going home. Oddly the idea of just calling it a day makes him groan internally. The sun was still high up in the sky and the energy in his bones was barely fading. Thinking of things to do, Bucky thinks of something he hasn’t done since early winter, “Let’s go dancing.” He mutters.

“Huh?” Steve questions.

“Dancing! Let’s go dancing!” Bucky says with a little more excitement.

Steve sighs and rolls his eyes, much to Bucky’s dismay, “God, you know I can’t do that crap. No-“

“You just haven’t been taught!”

“My mum tried and I didn’t let her finish because we both knew it was a lost cause.”

Bucky runs his fingers through his hair and sighs himself, “Please, just this once. If you don’t like it then we can go home.”

“Will you shut up if we go?”

“Yes!”

“Fine.” Steve relents and gives in, Bucky lets out a big whoop and the two start walking towards one of the many dance halls in the city.

The dance hall is surprisingly full at six pm on a Thursday, but since it is summer and one of the cooler nights in Brooklyn, it’s a wonder how Bucky and Steve are able to get in the doors too. 

The music is loud and the hall already has a sweaty smell to it, but Bucky is excited, he’s back in his element and some of his friends are here. He looks to Steve before he sets off to find a partner and sees how startled he is. His heart tugs and he stops walking.

 

“Don’t feel like you can’t approach any dame, the rules here is that if a guy comes up to a dame to dance they have to accept, fellas sit on the far wall to take breaks and girls sit on the wall near the door.” Bucky lays out, he feels bad now dragging Steve and he’s about to tell Steve they should go home until Steve nods and gives him a big smile.

“Got it, I'll see you in a bit I’m gonna try to get a dame to explain to me how to dance.” Steve reassures his friend and veres off in his own.

Bucky does the same and accepts a dames hand to dance.

  
  
  


About an hour and a half later Bucky is sweaty and tired, he goes to sit in the opposite side of the room where the men do while looking for Steve, he finds him at the end of the chairs, his legs crossed and his eyes focused with his sketchbook. Bucky sighs happily seeing his pal doing the thing he loves. 

“Steve!” He calls out, catching the attention of his friend, “What are you doing?”

Steve blushes and shrugs, “Some girls thought my dancing was terrible and I decided to sit out. I told you I was a lost cause.”

Wiping sweat from his brow and rolling his eyes, Bucky felt annoyance and anger surge through him, he knows Steve is a good dancer and those girls were just wrong. “Forget that,” Looking around, the dance floor was pretty crowded, but not enough where a small corner was available for them to dance, “Hey, what if I taught you a few moves?”

Steve looks up at Bucky with skepticism, “Us? Dancing? Here? I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Nothing is gonna happen, and if something does I trust your fists to defend us.”

Glancing around carefully before giving Bucky a dirty look, Steve gets up and tucks his small sketchbook in his back pocket.

Bucky beans and reaches out his hand for Steve to take. It takes a moment but Steve takes it. Before he knows it Steve is in the corner with Bucky. 

It’s a strange feeling for Bucky, the feeling he gets when he touches Steve, it’s like his body is on fire. His hands, arms, face, just  _ everything  _ is lit and his energy is restored. He’s no longer sore or tired but alive in away he’s never felt. When he looks into Steve’s blue-green eyes he stands a little taller and his mind clicks. 

“So, um, I’ll put my hand on your shoulders, and you put yours on my waist.” Bucky says carefully.

Steve laughs at that, “Are you serious?”

“Yes I’m serious, now do it and pretend I’m a dame!” Bucky replies hurriedly. He can’t explain the feeling he has, but it’s like every organ in his body is on fire and his lips are suddenly chapped.

“So what now?”

“Follow my lead.”

The two go through many swing dance routines, it takes awhile for Steve to get ahead of his footing, Bucky being patient enough to teach him to control his hand-eye coordination. The dance hall gets more crowded as time goes by and the two are shoved in the utter corner of the dance hall, but it brings Bucky closer to Steve and Steve close to Bucky’s chest. It’s cramped and sweaty but oddly Bucky doesn’t mind. He finds having Steve that close is pleasant.  After Steve finds his footing they both dance full routines, as much as they can in the small space. Steve smiles and laughs as he goes, he holds on tight to Bucky and says things like how much he’s enjoying himself and repeats old inside jokes just to make Bucky howl in laughter. It’s like they’re in their own personal bubble until someone shoved them against the wall.

“Hey watch it!” Steve shouts out as he prides himself from the wall and Bucky’s chest.

“Sorry man!” The guy says. Bucky turns around and sees a guy with a girl in the middle of dancing, everything seems ok…

The mans face screws up in disgust and so does the girl’s, “What, are you two some fairy’s or some shit?”

Bucky can’t even respond because Steve beats him to it, “Why you have a problem with that asshole?”

“Yeah I do, I have a problem with fa-“ 

 

Before he knew it, Bucky punches the guy in the face. Apparently so hard he falls to the ground, the girl he was dancing with gasps and so do a few other people. Bucky looks at Steve and they grab hands and run out as fast as they can. People scream and yell at them as they make their escape but Bucky is so lost in his mind he can’t believe his limbs are even functioning. The tingle he gets from holding Steve’s hand in one and the ache and throb he feels in the other hand is overwhelming. When he knows that they’re far away from the dance hall Bucky cuts into an alley and stops to catch his breath and check on Steve.

Steve leans against a wall and takes a deep breath, Bucky regrets making him run due to his asthma but forgets about it as soon as Steve laughs.

“That was supposed to be my punch.” Steve exhales.

Bucky chuckles and leans against the wall, his thighs touching Steve’s, “Sorry, pal, but it was instinct, my arm just wanted to punch that guy and I went along with it.”

“Tell your arms to knock it off,” Steve peaks through his blonde hair, that’s now over his eyes, and smirks.

Something finally clicks with Bucky and he moves closer, his hand lightly touching Steve’s cheek and thumb moving toward his lips. Steve gasps, making Bucky’s pulse jump, but he stays in his hold and looks at Bucky more intensely than he ever has in his life.

“What are you doing, jerk?” Steve whispers. The night is silent and his voice is like hearing a pin drop.

Bucky moves closer to Steve’s face, his breath ghosting Steve’s lips, “This, punk.” Closing the distance Bucky softly kisses Steve, his bruised hand going up in Steve’s hair and his other hand placed on his hip. Steve doesn’t hesitate and puts his hands on Bucky’s back. The night is cold and the in coming wind is confusing the summer season, but between those two boys in that moment the idea of summer and summer romance comes alive with that single kiss. 

Steve pulls away first and looks into Bucky’s eyes with that intense expression again, “It took a guy yelling derogatory terms at us for you to kiss me?”

Bucky wants to shove Steve, “Oh shut up, punk, I was going to kiss you tonight whether or not that guy started shit.”

“Oh really?”

“Really!”

Steve lightly pushes Bucky and smiles to himself, “Well I’m glad you did.”

Bucky looks at Steve, catching the private smile, “I am too.”

  
  



	2. What He Does

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve perspective on his and Bucky’s relationship ten months later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art in this chapter!

[Brooklyn Days](https://m.imgur.com/kgd4HvQ) 

 

  _10 months later_

_March, New York, 1940_

 

Bucky’s birthday has came and went, the start of Spring was vastly approaching. Steve is happily curled up in Bucky’s bed, or rather their bed. He yawns and stretches, his hair lightly tousled. Steve thinks back to months that have passed since that night Bucky kissed him. The thought of that kiss makes Steve gently touch his lips without realizing.

“Steve?” Bucky interrupts Steve’s thoughts as he peaks into the bedroom, “Breakfast is ready.”

Steve clears his throat, “Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Bucky nods and walks back into the kitchen, his white button down shirt hanging over his shoulders loosely and Steve stares a little longer than he should. He follows Bucky into the kitchen and smells the eggs and toast filling the small space. The radio is playing and spewing some news from the week.

“This looks amazing, Buck. Do we have enough bread for the rest of the week though?” Steve asks nonchalantly as he bites into his own toast.

“We have half a loaf left, I’ll pick up another loaf when I get paid Friday.” Bucky answers as he digs into his eggs.

_“In this weeks international news, Hitler met with Mussolini at the Brenner Pass in the Alps. Hitler made it clear that German troops were poised to launch an offensive in the west and that Mussolini would have to decide whether Italy would join in the attack or not…”_

Steve frowns hearing this news, and Bucky must have been reading his mind at the moment because he makes a disgusting sound hearing that. “That Adolf fella needs a swift ass kicking if you ask me. I’d gladly do it myself too.” Bucky tsks and shakes his head as he drinks his milk.

“I’ll throw the first punch with ya, pal.” Steve snarks, the news lately has been full of Germany interfering with other countries and other stuff. Steve takes note of it all, he hates how Germany thinks they can just push people around like it nothing and no one will stop them. All he wants is to-

“Steve?”

The stirring thoughts Steve has are interrupted by Bucky putting his hand in Steve’s hand and his soft voice. Looking up Steve meets the gaze of Bucky’s grey eyes. His breath shuddering, Steve sighs, those eyes used to always catch him back in school and he would be scared of staring so long, now he can look whenever he wanted and not feel so ashamed.

“Y-Yeah?” His voice wavered, it was times like this that made Steve so vulnerable to Bucky, it wasn’t because of Bucky though, it was because Steve let his walls down and let him in.

“Let’s have a day in?” Bucky pleads, his grip on Steve’s hand disappearing as he leans his elbow on the counter, resting his head in his hands.

Steve simply grins, anything that Bucky does makes him want to turn into a puddle but behind closed doors, in their own intimate bubble, to see him like this makes Steve melt, “Of course.”

The two finish eating and clean up their messes and get dressed, just in case they need to go out or someone comes knocking in their door, Steve sets up is large sketchbook in the common room and parks up near the largest open window. Bucky grabs a chair and starts to read a book. The apartment is silent except for the some odd sounds that happen in the rest of the building. Steve loves it. It’s a new neighborhood in Brooklyn that’s being developed and lucky Bucky got in with this building near the docks because if it were any later he started paying for the flat it would have been more expensive. The view inspires Seve to draw the street below, trying a new way of drawing, three-point perspective. It’s difficult and somewhat irritating trying to get everything symmetrical and proportionate but it’s fun overall.

Time passes, the sun reaches its peak position of the day and the flat is filled with bright beams all around. Steve can feel Bucky staring and it makes him shy, but he keeps drawing.

“Steve?” Bucky starts.

“Hmm?”

“Do you ever think of all the time we had wasted all because we were just scared?” Bucky asks thoughtfully.

This makes Steve turn away from his art, “All the time.”

“Why do you think we come out straight forward sooner? I mean, why didn’t you?”

“Well,” Steve takes a seat in Bucky’s lap, casually, no flirtation behind this, “Probably the same reason as you. I thought you would be disgusted and I would ruin our great friendship. I didn’t wanna risk that. I also waited because I wanted to fix the perfect moment to kiss you and tell you but you beat me to it.” Steve smirks as Bucky sucks his head down and laughs.

“Yeah, I did beat you to that, huh?”

“You sure did, now stop being so smug about it and kiss me jerk.” Steve runs his hands over Bucky’s chest and leads them up to his chocolate locks and lightly tugs his face closer to his.

“Stop being so bossy, punk,” Bucky giggles as he closes the distance and embraces Steve. He wraps his arms close around him and brings him even closer.

The drawing remains unfinished.

 

_May, Spring, 1940_

The news gets worse over the course of Spring. The Axis powers are getting stronger and the world is noticing now. _No more ignoring blatant Nazi insignia at the fucking Olympics,_ Steve thinks. Recruitment centers for the army are opening every corner you see, propaganda is plaster on every wall you pass to join the army! Join the U.S. Army! And god if Steve didn’t wanna join like a fish wanted to be in water.

He always believes in one thing, and one thing only, the strong should prey on the weak. Bullies are not to be tolerated and that’s how Steve views the Axis powers. He wants to make a difference.

Bucky is in on it too, he hates hearing about what’s going on in Europe and he wants to help in every way he can. Steve and Bucky both agreed to ration what the can for the sake of troops. Now they’re saving money and helping. Steve suggested they get bonds but Bucky refused. Something about the government not being able to be trustworthy with their money.

Over the few months Steve has built his portfolio of multiple artworks that’s he’s made that encapsulate the city, the parks, the buildings the sights, everything, Steve has drawn. A few of those drawings also include Bucky. Bucky holding ingredients to something, Bucky brushing his teeth, Bucky just putting in shoes. Anything Bucky does, Steve draws. Sometimes he shows him and others he keeps to himself. But everytime he shows a drawing to Bucky he always praises him, and more than anything he blushes. Steve rolls his eyes thinking about it. A man as beautiful as him doesn’t believe his own beauty. How humbling.

Now Steve leaves his sketchbook all over the flat, but so Bucky can go through and look at his recent art. Before he used to be ashamed of his sketches of Bucky, but after they started their relationship Steve decided to show his art of his partner. Bucky of course was excited to see art of himself made by Steve and even encouraged him to make more when ever he had the inspiration to.

Steve is cleaning up in the kitchen in the evening when Bucky comes in, more tired looking than he’s seen before.

“Hey Buck, rough day at work?” Steve stops what he’s doing and comes to greet him by kissing his cheek

Bucky sighs and slumps his shoulders, giving into his tiredness, he wraps his arms around Steve and exhales, “Rough day everywhere.”

Steve hugs back but he’s curious as to what Bucky means, “What do you mean?”

Bucky lets go of Steve to regain his posture, “German won another battle today, Grebbeberg. Some recruitment centers are opening up now to send groups to help European countries. Some of the guys at work signed up and now a lot of positions are left open. The guys that are left are breaking their backs to get the leftover work done.”

Steve swears, “Damn, that’s terrible. I didn’t listen to any of the news today, how many guys left?”

“Seven.”

“Seven?! Jesus…”

Bucky takes off his shoes and goes straight to his room to grab his toiletries and then heads to the building shower room. Steve can tell Bucky is stuck in a thought, over the recent events happening Bucky and Steve have been listening to the news and thinking heavily about the future.

Lately, Steve’s illnesses have been dormant. Living with Bucky has helped because he’s always doting in him to take care of himself and eat as health as he can. But maybe if he can, Steve can go to the recruiting center and help with the war efforts. He’s not sure how Bucky will take it.

When Bucky comes back from his shower, he looks more alive, his grey eyes are wide and clear. He comes to Steve and kisses his forehead.

Steve sits up and clears his throat, “I’m going to apply to the recruitment center.”

Bucky freezes and pulls away. “What.”

“I’m-“

Bucky holds up his hand and shakes his head, “No, no, I know what you said I just didn’t wanna...Steve what? You can’t do that.”

“Of course I can, I’m an American citizen. I can walk and I can breathe. I know my murmur could affect their decision to pick me but it’s slim.”

“No, just-“

“Just what?”

Bucky groans and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Even if they accept you, do you really wanna die? In war?”

Steve sits up straighter, “If that what it means to defeat the enemy then yes.”

Bucky’s eyes widen, Steve knows _exactly_ why Bucky is saying this, in a way Steve is happy that he cares so much for him and is serious about his safety. But he realizes that they would still have this talk even if he and Bucky weren’t together romantically.

“If you’re going, then so am I. We can go tomorrow, I have the day off.” Bucky gives up and slouches, he sits in one of the chairs across from Steve and relaxes, but Steve can still see the fear of what’s to come in Bucky’s eyes.

 

The next day Steve gets dressed in his finest pressed shirt and jacket to go to the recruitment center. He gets up before Bucky and makes breakfast. When Bucky does get up he doesn’t really look Steve in the face, dread especially present.

They both leave in silence making their way to the nearest center. Bucky enters first, and gets papers for him and Steve to fill out their information. As soon as the finish they go to the examination room and strip to their undergarments.

The doctor, a man in about his late fifties, gives Steve a strange look, “You sure there kid? You could use a piece of steak for those bones.”

Internally sighing, Steve takes a grin, “I’m ok sir, thank you, can we get started?”

The doctor sighs and nods his head. Steve sneaks a peak at Bucky who is snickering to himself. Steve rolls his eyes and holds back his own laughter. Some people.

The doctor starts with Bucky first, gettin his height and weight then checking his back for scoliosis. He checks his blood pressure and breathing as well, “As fit as a young man should be. The army would be lucky to have you in it.”

Bucky stands a little taller, “Thank you sir.”

“Well you’re good to go, I’ll send you file in as soon as possible. The government is expecting the war to die out soon so you may not be expected son, lets hope.”

“God can only hope, huh?” Bucky chuckles, Steve sees his shoulders slump, it’s quick but he knows the relief Bucky must get hearing that. Bucky grabs his clothes and changes in the other room.

Steve steps up next to get checked, his height and weight is disproportionate but sometimes that happens, the doctor explains. Next he checks his spine.

“Oh my, you’re a little off huh?”

“Always have, but that doesn’t slow me down.”

“Good way of going on with it.”

Now he checks Steve’s breathing, Steve admits he’s been trying the best he can to control his breathing. His lungs rattling in the middle of the night scared Bucky when they started sharing the same bed, but Steve has been walking further into the city and winging himself of relying on asthmatic cigarettes. When the doctor gives a pleasant hum of a approval Steve sits up a little prouder.

“Now, this...list of things you wrote down? Are these all illnesses you’ve had or been around to see happen?” The doctor asks skeptical of Steve’s response on the forms.

“Uh,” Embarrassment clear as day on Steve’s face, Steve scratches his head and looks down, “Yeah, those are illnesses I’ve had before.”

“And you’re living! Damn, son, you’re a fighter.”

Steve perks up at this, “Well thank you.”

“I just don’t know how you’ll fair in the army. I mean you’ll be in foreign places where you can catch anything. If you die due to a little flu then you’ll be a casualty your squad doesn’t need.”

Ouch. Steve goes back to looking down, he’s not sure what to say to that or how to even address that. Surely they are other things he can do in the army-

“I’m sorry, son.” The sound of a stamp slamming on the counter makes Steve look up, “I’m afraid you’re unfit for the U.S. Army.” 

Steve stares at the 4-F stamp and wants to rip that paper to shreds.

 

“Hey you should be glad you’re not army material.”

Steve brushes Bucky’s arm off his shoulder, “And why would I be happy about that, asshole?”

The two are walking back from the recruitment center and headed home. Bucky was told he might receive something in the mail about training camp and information where he might be stationed, and Steve got dietary information.

“Because you ain’t gonna die in war. Look going across the world to sleep in gross places and fight people you don’t wanna sounds like hell!”

Steve stops in his tracks, “Then why the hell are you going?”

Bucky almost stumbles into Steve but gracefully recovers, “I just feel the need to serve my country.”

“Well so do I! I don’t like how these countries are treating others, like they don’t matter and the world belongs to them. It doesn’t. They’re just being bullies and you know how I feel about that.” Steve turns and stomps away, leaving Bucky to think about what he just said.

 

_July 4th, 1940_

 

“GOOOOD MORNING!”

Steve wakes up with a start and wakes up to find his significant other over his face, then soon to kiss him all over.

Giggling Steve pushes Bucky off and sits up, “Good morning, good lord, Buck,”

Bucky beams at him and wraps his arms around Steve tightly, “Happy birthday, Stevie.”

“Thank you, Buck. I love you.”

Bucky squeezes him tighter and rubs his head where Steve’s neck and shoulder meet. It makes Steve sigh because it’s so relaxing, “I love you too, Steve.”

That just started recently, saying I love you. One night they were at a dance hall, Steve actually danced with a few girls and Bucky was so excited for him that he danced and had a good time. Afterwards though, when no one was looking in the dimly lit streets, Bucky whispered oh so silently, ‘I love you’. Steve’s ears perked up and immediately he said it back. That night was one of the best nights he had.

Now Steve is lying back in bed while Bucky combs his fingers through his hair lazily. “Stevie?”

“Hm?” Steve hums, he’s halfway asleep due to how nice Bucky’s fingers feel scratching his scalp.

“Lets go to Coney today.”

Steve wakes up almost instantly, “Really? We haven’t been there in seven years!”

Bucky grins, “Yeah! I’ve been saving for a while, just for your special day. Now let’s get dressed and head out.”

Steve literally jumps off of bed and gets ready, quickly combing his hair and brushing his teeth, and half hazardly throwing on clothes. Bucky though takes his time and still gets ready before Steve is. It’s annoying as hell to him, but Steve is just happy he gets to spend the day with his best guy.

Soon, the two make their way to the street and Bucky hails a cab, Coney is a little further than four blocks like Bucky’s work plus it’s not much fare he has to pay. They get in the cab and Bucky tells the driver where to go. Traffic is light today so they get to beach in less than fifteen minutes. Bucky pays the cab driver while Steve leaves a tip.

There’s a crowd at the ticket booth, with more people coming so they quickly get their spot in line. It takes a while, waiting in the sun. Bucky complains more than he should, but Steve lets him because even if it’s early in the morning the sun never quits in New York, especially Brooklyn. Thirty minutes pass and they finally get to the booth, Bucky hurriedly buys six tickets for both of them to ride some attractions, save the rest of his money for lunch and maybe dinner. Steve thanks the cashier and the go inside, pass the gates.

“What do you wanna ride first?” Steve asks.

Bucky nudges him, “Hows about that thing?”

Bucky points towards a medium sized roller coaster that has a large drop, a cart is at the top right now with riders and they slowly approach the drop, then all of a sudden the cart slams down and rides down the rest of the track with the riders screaming.

“Good god”

“What are you chicken?” Bucky antagonizes, knowingly.

Steve punches Bucky’s arm and shakes his head, “How dare you call me a chicken on my birthday you ass.” He makes his way towards the ride, which is funnily called _The Great American Adventure!._

The two get in line and wait for a short minute, surprisingly the line isn’t long and they get on. The build up for the ride makes Steve anxious and wishing he was chicken and didn’t listen to Bucky’s taunting. As soon as they approach the drop Bucky yells out a big whoop and the cart goes flying down. Steve thinks he’s gonna fly out the cart while Bucky just throws up his hands like he has no care in the world.

 _I’m gonna die and it’s all this assholes fault!_ Steve thinks.

As soon as the ride is over, Steve feels like his legs aren’t even attached to him anymore while Bucky just hops out the cart and walks like nothing.

“That was fun!” He exclaims.

“Shut up.” Steve mumbles as he exits.

Laughing, Bucky throws an arm over Steve’s shoulder, close but not too close for anyone to complain about, “Aww, too much already old man?”

“Old man??” Steve swats Bucky, “You’re a year older than me, if anyone is an old man it’s you!”

“Hush now, you’ll ruin my chance with the ladies, I hear the new trend is younger men.”

Steve snorts and doubles over laughing with Bucky joining in with him.

Over the course of the day the two use their ride tickets sparingly as possible and ride all the huge roller coasters. The biggest one being _The Cyclone_.

“Buck, I’m not too sure about this.” Steve warns as they get in the ride cart.

“Trust me, this is gonna be so much fun I’ve heard this is a must ride, plus it’s kinda new!”

The ride twists and turns and drops so many times throughout its duration Steve swears he goes cross eyed for a full minute.

Right after the ride ends Steve feels something coming up his throat and runs to the nearest trash can. Bucky comes up besides him and rubs his back, “God, Stevie, I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you.”

Steve waves him off like it’s nothing.

They play carnival games to avoid long ride waiting times until the place starts getting so packed Steve starts to feel claustrophobic.

“Bucky let's go home.” Steve grips Bucky’s arm as he tries to not panic, slowly getting around people.

“Exactly what I was thinking. They’re gonna make the boardwalk collapse with all these people, damn.”

Hailing another cab, Bucky and Steve jump in and take a sigh of relief as they escape the crowd, the traffic is non existent in the streets as everyone in the city is at the beach or with their families. Steve had asked Bucky about going to see his family for the Fourth, but they had just moved back to Indiana a few months back and train tickets were too expensive. Bucky seemed more excited to spend his holiday with Steve for his birthday anyways.

Slowing down, the cab stops at the curb of their apartment building and Steve and Bucky hop out, Steve paying and Bucky leaving a tip this time. Steve looks around cautiously, while Bucky looks at him curiously, before Steve grabs his hand and practically runs up to their floor and their flat. No matter who sees them, it’s his birthday dammit and he’ll hold his boyfriend’s hand if he wants to.

When they get in, Steve turns around and kisses Bucky, softly and tenderly. ‘’Thank you, for today. Everything was wonderful.’’

Bucky blushes, something of a rarity, “Steve…”

Steve smiles and goes in their room to undress, he takes off his white shirt and undershirt, not putting on a shirt and heads back out to the living room. Bucky just threw off his shirt and shoes and is opening windows. He paces the room a bit before he leans back and motions for Steve to come closer.

“Not to ruin your day, but I have some news, about the recruitment…” Bucky starts.

Steve’s smile fades, “You got recruited huh?” Bucky looks down and nods.

Steve comes even closer and rests his head on Bucky bare chest, “When are you leaving.”

“End of August, I’ll still be in New York though, Upstate.”

Steve doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know what to feel. It feels like apart of him is being ripped out, and it will for the rest of the summer. Everyday will feel rushed and on that one day Bucky leaves, it’ll feel like everyone Steve has ever know will have left him. He feel like he’s going to puke.

Bucky causes him to look up at him when he starts to rub his back, “I’ll come back.”

“How do you know?” Steve wants to cry and scream, but he also wants to congratulate him.

“Because my best guy needs his best dancer.” Bucky says, his smugness shining through.

“I’ll follow you.” Steve states, the sun is going down, the the sound of fireworks are starting to drown him out.

“It’ll all be alright,” Bucky murmurs.

“How do you know?” Steve questions.

Bucky stares into Steve‘s eyes, the intensity he always want to understand, the color of his eyes he always wants to paint. The sun is gleaming in those grey orbs and Steve is mesmerized, he believes that everything will be okay, that the war won’t take his friend, his lover.

 

“Because I’m with you till the end of the line.”

**Author's Note:**

> AO3 is being a bitch and I’m posting this at my birthday party hmmm priorities


End file.
